Monday 14 January 2013

The Vision to My Music



Must all stories have a once upon a time? Maybe not, probably yes! But his story does.

Once upon a time there was a man who was a dreamer and a poet and he liked his own pace of life. He was imaginative, curious and intuitive and he looked for life and love everywhere and in all forms. He longed for love that was pure and kind; that shook him from within and with a patient wait he believed it would come his way. Standing along the waters of Thames he wondered about his beliefs and how sordid they must sound to the rest of the world for timeless love is but a myth. Vincent was a free spirit caught in the machinations of the present day’s dreariness and fatigue. He enjoyed the rush of new feelings, heady explosions and was not afraid of trying out things that were risky yet uplifting.  Musing along these lines, Vincent left singing his song..
Chitra felt the breeze. Chitra felt the winter sunshine. She felt the mildew on the leaves; just as the morning coffee’s warmth. Chitra was acutely aware of all her deep feelings. Astute some called her. Others a mere pariah. But no one could feel Mozart and Bach’s tunes syncing into her rhythmic soul. The desire and longing and often crazed fervor that arose within her as the gramophone record filled the room was overwhelming. Chitra knew her heart’s innermost desire. To be where they were. A place where no one would tarnish her. Chitra felt the children running and scalloping with their ice-cream cones, frolicking in merriment. It brought back childhood images of her enjoying the delicious thrill of ice-cream on a cold winter London morning. Her ability to feel things astutely often compounded her complex emotions within. When she was in Kabul, she felt the vibrato and pulsing energy that children exuded on their way to the kite flying competition. Chitra was extraordinary. She knew her way to Sam’s deli perfectly. “How can that be extraordinary”, you would say. Because Chitra felt the rush, the rhythm divine, the laughter, the smell, the sounds. Yes she did, But Chitra only felt…Chitra never did see.

Chitra reached the deli and was at her usual booth where her order lay waiting for her; cheese and jalapeno sausages, eggs and coffee to go with it. She suddenly felt someone’s swooping presence across her and that had her all startled.  It was Vincent and for him seeing this beautiful girl holding her own little place in the world had him enthralled and he couldn’t help
but sit down and talk to the lovely face beholding him. Chitra was beautiful; not in the conventional way that people preferred. She was dusky; a rich colour of honey that added to her sweet disposition. Large black eyes, a subdued nose, full lips and flushed cheeks. Chitra’s beauty was demanding; it instantly attracted people to her but her disability turned them away just as swiftly. Vincent however felt that he was witnessing a beautiful sensation that sought to satiate his thirst for love, belonging and passion. All that a glimpse can do!
And that was how, Vincent and Chitra met; the beginning of a romance that defied reason for most. People saw them with sympathy; or rather sympathy for the poor man who was burdened with a blind future. How little did they know? Vincent found the answers to all his life’s questions in Chitra. Chitra satisfied his curiosity and as for Chitra she felt in Vincent a love and acceptance that had been denied to her; for a long time now. Chitra was not always this way. Chitra lost the gift of sight at the tender and precipitous age of fifteen. A cruel accident that went to destroy her internal self; tarnished her from within and had it not been for Sister Hilda, her life would have possibly been different. The accident left her blinded and orphaned. Sister Hilda, a close confidant of the family took to her and against social convention raised her as her own. London was her home, yet she knew within her the delight she felt of being an India. The identity crisis never gauged her. Her parents had embodied their ”Indianness” too well within her. It was disconcerting that she would no longer be able to visually see the myriad sights of Indian streets and take in their many flavours. That was her big disappointment. However, the accident was not a curse by all accounts. She endowed her with a rare and sharper bent of mind; more receptive to voices and noise and music. She found a clarity that was rich, riveting and at times slightly disturbing. But Chitra never gave in to her disappointments. She believed she survived for some reason and when she encountered Vincent, her reason materialized like a gondola on the Venetian waters that offer quiet, peace and a sense of serenity. Chitra was also afraid that eventually her handicap would become his as well and that scared her to death. It did not matter to her that Vincent was not loquacious about him but revealed himself in the quietest moments of privacy and familiarity. Vincent was a cynic and life had disillusioned his beliefs. But Chitra was able to forge an intimate connection with him and little by little he relaxed and began to blend into her rhythm.
But love prevailed beyond reason and Chitra and Vincent were no more lovers but companions who complemented each other and perfected their imperfections. They healed the broken contours of their warped up souls and much to his delight Vincent found his fantasies turning into a reality. Vincent did not mind that Chitra could not see him. A part of him secretly was relieved because they were bound by an inner sanctum of love that would not be obscured by physical ties. Yet, he sometimes wished he could make her see the starless nights, or the canopy of birds on market-days knowing too well how much she’d love them. Vincent and Chitra were beyond any doubt the perfect fit for each other. Not bound by religious, national boundaries they were free souls trapped in societal conventions yet when their hearts discovered each other, they discovered life. Vincent became Chitra’s vision and Chitra filled Vincent’s inner emptiness with love and his skepticism into delighted love. Their love was often difficult, riddled with doubt, disarray and confusion but their conviction and faith kept them going…

Did Vincent and Chitra live happily ever after? Are there happily ever after’s? No one could tell for sure and when one did it would be subjective to personal experiences, wouldn’t it? Chitra and Vincent were lucky to have found each other and held on to that for as long as it was decreed. There is a Chitra and a Vincent lurking on the cornerstones of life’s passages all the time. Sometimes Chitra finds Vincent and loses him or Vincent discovers a wrong Chitra. Life is full of puzzles. But life’s puzzles also reveal that

Vincent and Chitra are not mere characters. They symbolize the finding of love in its deepest sense and commitment in its effervescence. We often find our true beings and lose them in the glitter of sparkling lights that fade away eventually. The Chitra and Vincent of this story must fade away for their world is one of love and not marked by trepidation. Lovers, soul mates and the best of confidants for as long as life held its hand out.