WELCOME TO MY WORLD

Welcome to a woman’s world. A world that is funny and sad; happy and heartbreaking all at once. It is a world where crazy meets sane; error meets redemption and clarity meets confusion. A woman’s world will give you the safest haven you will ever find and the most comforting embrace that you will ever get. It stems from years of compassion, kindness, laughter and joy. It is a canopy of warmth and courage. 

Why this preamble you may wonder?! A woman is not all of the things I have just written about. Indeed the definition of a woman today is morphed and tangled. An object in a man’s world, we are reduced to being described by our body size, our looks, our clothes and when all else fails our reduced and lowly character that screams for attention! After all it’s we who invite rapes and we who provoke men to have a go at us and seduce them to climb the ladder of power and success. We make up a segment of society that has been marginalized from decades by our superior counterpart and despite our years of struggle our position isn’t much better today. In fact it could be worse because now we not only suffer from humiliation, scandal, molestation, incest and all things perverse but somehow find a way to blame ourselves for the ghastly acts committed to us. 

Yes we are all modern women, who are educated, well employed, and independent. We can fend perfectly well for ourselves. But these women are never accepted well by society because our independence makes the patriarchal society uncomfortable who has conditioned us all to believe that women should be “simple” creatures fulfilling their domesticated role as a dutiful mother, wife, daughter and sister and have no personal wants and desires. 

We are funny, well informed and super smart. But every time we do something great, we are pulled back for being a woman. That our merits are not deserved because we are good, but because as women we must have charmed or manipulated our way up. And what’s probably egging the situation on is that we women never stand united against our predator male. We indulge in jealousy, anger and defame each other in public! So essentially we end up validating men treating us so low because not all of us treat each other well enough.

Every time we walk on the streets, there will be atleast one man who is whistling, staring, cat-calling or commenting on us. It does not matter what we wear, it could be a salwaar kameez, jeans, a dress or even a burka. We are x-rayed and objectified each time. How ridiculous is the notion that women call for such attention? How can anyone want this? The recent growth of rapes in the country surely heightens one fundamental fact, that these men are not merely getting sexual release off these acts. They mutilate the body of the victim. So how sick is the society then? You distort a human being’s life, body and soul and then siphon off the blame onto her only! That you not only maim someone once but torture and assault them repeatedly. Why does no one talk about these untamed desires of our men, yes men who gape at girls their daughter’s age and men who are supposedly minors but that doesn’t stop them from leering a woman like she’s public property. Society points at prostitution as a sin. But what does the industry thrive on? MEN!! Had there been no men, why would women be forced into it. The expectations from a woman thrive so high that it is a miracle we continue to live out each day and still smile through it. How can we celebrate International Women’s Day when we are not respected in our daily lives? How can we continue to live being judged and held accountable for everything we say, talk and wear! 

This is not a rant on the subjugated status of women, but a narrative on how impossible a situation we are in. There is no freedom really. We lead half free lives where we like to believe that there is equality and there is mercy but that is not so. There is a subconscious voice that keeps us on our toes at all times and every time we hear another story of a fellow woman’s plight we turn paranoid. What has happened to us? We are all so bright, so brave, so intelligent and so full of shine. But every step out of the house leaves us as nothing but a prospective object of hunger, lust and perverted desire. One stole to cover our body, another to cover our face and pepper spray to protect us for that one fleeting second. People tell us “do it for your own self, why tempt the man?!” But no, the reason we really do it is because we are scared and hope that maybe the preventive measure lessens my chance of being the next victim. The only hope we have is to stand by each other, through all the good and bad times and to discover the tiny little silver lining at the end of this dark road.

When They Collided

She never wanted to love again. Never wanted to believe in promises simply because she was so frightened of being let down. He thought love did not exist. Love was nothing but a superficial cloud of baggage that only begets misery. But then fate had a different story planned for them. Fate caused a collision so hard that when it hit them it left them open with spasms of joy and exhilaration, stunning their senses. They found their hopes, dreams and imaginations of the future mirrored in each other.

They spent lazy days and nights wrapped in each other’s arms; as wispy flakes of smoke circled above they bared the innermost contours of their souls to the other, little by little. On a balmy yet cool April evening when the weather had turned a beautiful shade of grey they went on a ride; one that would be always cherished. He sat as he always did confident and relaxed and she sat behind him smelling the back of his shirt that reeked of “him”; warm and full and comforting. He zoomed on and on and she held him tight. Her hands wrapped him so hard she feared his chest would explode (her world certainly did!). He smiled that little smile from his corner of his mouth. She would look at him from the right hand mirror only to see he was already looking at her. The sky had turned into the kind of dull grey color that boded impending rains. How ironic that the weather reflected their state of mind. As the clouds precipitated to form one solid mass that would culminate into rain, their feelings of passion were turning into rivulets of want, yearning and togetherness. Flocks of birds were flying overhead, the whiteness of the sky was giving way to greyer undertones and they were just entranced by the coolness of the weather, the heady rush of speed and the company of the other.

Sometimes the traffic would act as the deterrent. But then he would hold both her hands and bring them near his heart and kiss them.  She would lay her head on his back and close her eyes as he sped along. They were so different and yet so similar. They were both wanderers, trying to find their way. They were both lonely who sought company. They were both children who longed for love and yet were both adults doing all of the mundane grown up things. People always said “Opposites attract”. But opposites without commonalities lose their way. And as for them they were only just beginning to find each other. He complete in her being and she secure in his embrace.